Sanders: I’ll turn the lights out on Daylight Savings Time



Democratic Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders decried Daylight Saving Time after arriving slightly late for a press interview Sunday.

“Even I was thrown off this year—I never saw it coming,” Sanders said. “I guess I didn’t get the memo that it was time to turn the clocks forward.”

Sanders said that he had been mulling the issue over since college, and plans to use the power of the Presidency to end what he calls a ridiculous exercise in time manipulation.

“I’ve yet to meet anybody who says he or she likes getting cheated an hour of sleep every spring,” said Sanders.

Sanders believes he already has sweeping support in making the change.

“Most of my supporters already barely can make it out of bed on time as it is,” said Sanders. “From spoiled millennials who still live with their parents, to pot smoking hippies who need till noon to get moving, or octogenarians with one foot in the grave, most of my supporters, and in fact, many of Mrs. Clinton’s supporters, want to see Daylight Savings Time abolished. As president, I will turn out the lights on this silly ritual.”

In a telephone interview, Mrs. Clinton chuckled at the idea and said she agrees with Sanders.

“I’ll have to admit, I’m feeling ‘the Bern’ on this issue,” she said with that bright-eyed smile even conservatives have come to admire.

Adding a little humor to the mix, she alluded to the extended bathroom break that caused her to return to a debate late in December.

“Lord knows, I need the powder room time after a good night’s sleep,” she quipped.

Clinton then hinted that she would take the measure one step forward and lower the freezing point to twenty degrees Fahrenheit.

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