Peerless Solutions announced today that it has gone to the cloud.
Flanked by C-Level staff and company sycophants, Peerless CEO Marvin Lipperman remarked, “This is truly a monumental milestone in our company’s history. We wanted to make this occasion a press event so we can show the business community that we have moved to the cloud like everyone else.”
The company’s logo and its motto, “Me Too!” proudly adorned the backdrop behind Lipperman. Peerless Solutions’ orange logo consisted of the company’s initials, PS, within a sphere and under an arch, much like a lot of other business’s logos. Freelance graphic designers and those who sell their services on the99designs website organized in 2010 to create a “standard of standards” to ensure equity and mediocrity throughout the industry. After companies across the world adopted logos that virtually mirrored each other, Peerless initiated the bold move of doing the same.
Lipperman said that his team’s strategy of moving into the cloud further demonstrates Peerless’s commitment to being like everyone else while claiming innovation.
“People like predictability and routines,” Lipperman said to a cheering crowd of subordinates. “Peerless is committed to coloring within the lines and ensuring sustainability to that which was once new and innovative.”
There is no question that Peerless excels at fitting in. In 2011, the company sent out a mass mailer that it was going green, a move executives thought was important after years of watching other organizations grandstand about their commitment to the environment.
Launching its move to the cloud, Peerless has opened accounts with Dropbox, Google Docs, and MailChimp. Executives plan to drive to Barnes & Noble to seek Dummies books to better understand the benefits of each of these applications.
“We’re not just in the cloud—we’re squeezing the Charmin!” Lipperman said as his underlings rose to a standing ovation.
During his closing remarks, Lipperman announced the company would discontinue its practice of awarding retiring executives gold watches and instead give them Fitbit wristbands.
“This move will both demonstrate our commitment to being a healthy company, which we embarked upon last year after noticing many other businesses doing the same, as well as promote a product that everyone is buying,” Lipperman said. “Our next goal is to create a corporate Myspace page.”