Obama Orders Military to Offer Gay Merchandise


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WASHINGTON, D.C.— U.S. President Barack Obama ordered the armed forces to begin offering LGBTQ-sensitive civilian military merchandise—or face serious budget cuts. The measure goes into effect October 1, 2016.

By law, Mr. Obama is permitted to bypass the U.S. House of Representatives and Senate due to the Congressional summer recess if he identifies a state of emergency.

“Anytime any peaceful group’s civil rights are violated, a state of emergency is present,” Obama said. “It is wrong and discriminating that the LGBTQ community cannot enjoy military merchandise that reflects their sexual preferences, while others can enjoy stockpiling these items.”

Obama’s Executive Order covers, but is not limited to, bumper stickers, shirts, and hoodies. Furthermore, all action figures sold by the military must include extra sets of gender-specific clothing so that children can cross-dress soldiers, sailors, and marines. Due to logistical reasons, the military has until December 1 of this year to offer these items, which Obama says is critical to complete for the Christmas shopping season.

Following are a few examples in Mr. Obama’s order:

  • Items reflecting language such as “Proud Parent of A Soldier” must be complemented by an equal stock of items that say “Proud Parental Partner of A Soldier” or an equivalent.
  • “Proud Air Force Mom” must be matched up with “Proud Air Force Lesbian Parent” or an equivalent.
  • “I love my Marine” must be matched up with “My Partner and I love my Marine.”

U.S. Law requires a 30-day public-comment period regarding any change in language commanded by Presidential Executive Order relative to products sold by the military to civilians through an authorized independent 3rd party selected by the president. Public comment is non-binding, but will be given utmost consideration by the president.

Parties who wish to make comment should call the president’s public relations agency Sylvia Marketing & Public Relations at 610-323-3500, and ask for Ken Kilpatrick between the hours of 9 am and 5 pm EST, Monday through Friday.

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