BREAKING NEWS: JILL STEIN WANTS SUPER BOWL RECOUNT

Green Party Leader Says Game Was Rigged

HOUSTON–Well, there she goes again. Former Green Party presidential candidate Dr. Jill Stein is demanding a recount of Super Bowl LI, in which the New England Patriots defeated the Atlanta Falcons 34-28.

Holding a press conference outside the NRG Stadium in Houston, Texas, Stein expressed concerns about whether the referees were influenced by the Russians as they made their calls.

“Atlanta had a 28-3 lead midway through the third quarter,” Stein said. “There is no way the so-called Patriots are the real winners.”

“The  American people have seen far too many shenanigans in how scores are tabulated in important events,” Stein said. “With Trump in the White House, I’m super-concerned that the outcome of the Super Bowl has been rigged, especially with a bogus overtime maneuver that never happened in the history of the Super Bowl.”

President Trump was quick to issue a statement.

“This call for yet another recount is just a way for Jill Stein, who received less than one percent of the presidential vote overall and wasn’t even on the ballot in many states, to fill her coffers with money, most of which she will never even spend on this ridiculous recount,” Trump said.

He continued, “This is a scam by the Green Party. The results of this Super Bowl should be respected instead of being challenged and abused, which is exactly what Jill Stein is doing.”

Stein replied that the President’s remarks are “hogwash” and “reflect the insecurities of a man with little hands and other particular organs.”

In other news, angry protesters in Atlanta were seen with picket signs that said, “NOT MY SUPER BOWL CHAMPS.”

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