I Gotta Get This Off My Chest!

Why do we sneeze in pairs?

Why do most charter bus drivers have white beards?

Something tells me that those who post motivational comments or graphics online that say something like “Happiness is a Choice” are trying to con themselves out of misery. I would challenge them to choose happiness while passing a kidney stone.

I don’t believe that others are generally put in our lives for a purpose. If that were the case, China wouldn’t have so many people.

I would be happy to offend 100 people just to make one hurt soul laugh.

You can’t really fake it till you make it. You got to be real before you get where you’re going.

I treasure my employees far more than I do money. A $100 bill never made me laugh my ass off.

You gotta go out on a limb if you want to get the fruit.