Clinton to laid off coal miner: “Think before you speak!”

clinton coal

Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton ran into another controversial and potentially damaging roadblock after she was questioned by a laid-off coal worker over her campaign promise that “we’re going to put a lot of coal miners and coal companies out of business.”

Clinton was attending a rally with Sen. Joe Manchin in Williamson, (D-West Virginia) when she was asked a question by Bo Copley, a laid off coal miner with a pregnant wife, a little boy, and two little girls.

“Ma’am, how you can say you’re going to put a lot of coal miners out of jobs, and then come here and tell us how you’re going to be our friend, because those people out there don’t see you as a friend?” Copley asked. He broke into tears as the chants of the protesters and pancake merchants were heard outside. A towering and physically strong man, Copley said through his tears he could no longer feed his family and was upset that Hillary would harm so many poor children for political gain.

“What I was saying is that the way things are going now, we will continue to lose jobs, because you guys are killing the environment and keep getting gritty nasty coal dust all over the place,” Clinton said sharply with her trademark scowl she typically reserves for Republicans. “Both times when I was here—campaigning for my husband’s candidacy for president and then mine—there was coal dust all over the diners we patronized to show the American people that we are wholesome hometown hookies like ya’ll. But it’s hard to socialize, let alone eat dogs and baked beans when there’s coal stains on the diner’s coffee mugs. Whoopi Goldberg is getting fat, and how did she get a Jewish patronymic anyway? You really need to think before you speak, OK?”

The West Virginian protestors broke out into a chant, “Beans beans are good for your heart, the more you eat them, the more you fart, the more you fart, the better you feel, so eat your beans every meal!”

“OK, OK, speaking of a good heart, if I thought that putting you out of work was in Hillary’s heart, I wouldn’t be sitting here,” Sen. Manchin said. “Besides, I’m sick of hearing about those damn emails.”

“You said it, Senator,” Clinton replied. “You got to remember I may be from Arkansas, Indiana, Pennsylvania, New York, and honey, Virginia may be for lovers, but my heart’s here in West Virginia. This land was made for you and me!”

The crowd rose to a sustained standing ovation, including sincere applause from Copley and other unemployed coalminers.

“Welp, you got me thinking now,” Copley said. “You just may be fit to wear the pantsuit in the White House. I just hope you consider getting a bellybutton ring and a tattoo.”

A blushing Clinton replied, “If I get inked, I’m sure it will say, “I love West Virginia!”

“One final question, ma’am?” Copley asked.

“Panties or cotton bloomers?”

Clinton erupted with her trademark belly laugh that even a majority of Republicans have come to adore, as reported in a recent Al Jazeera poll.

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