BREAKING NEWS: Clinton Denied Coughing Breaks at Debate

No coughing fit breaks for clinton

Clinton will have to power though coughing fits  during the debate. She has been granted use of a special podium to compensate for her size.

Coughing breaks, steps stools, and timeouts are among the list of rules for the first presidential debate on Monday night.

The Presidential Debate Commission this weekend finalized its List of Debate Rules, Decorum, and Formality (the List) for the debate. The List is required by the Presidential Debate Rules of Procedure which Congress adopted in 1861 to codify debates after the infamous and hostile Lincoln and Douglas Debates. The List is made exclusively by the Presidential Debate Commission without input from the candidates.

The commission denied Clinton’s request to use a step stool to compensate for her smallness in stature. Clinton is a small but mighty 5’4″. Mighty as she may be, her campaign is concerned she could be “dwarfed” by Donald Trump, who stands 6’2″ tall. However, the commission did approve a custom-made podium, which will accommodate the difference in stature.

More than 100 million people are expected to watch the first presidential debate between Clinton and Donald J. Trump, which will be held at Hofstra University in Long Island, New York. The debate rules state that Clinton will have to “power through” any coughing fit, feinting spells, or other medical crisis should such events occur. The commission reasoned that the candidates are vying to be commander-in-chief of the armed forces and therefore should sustain their shortcomings as a leader should. Clinton’s special podium request was granted in deference to Napoleon as the 5’7″ leader nearly conquered the world.

Clinton Campaign Manager and Gay Right’s Activist and Robby Mook said his candidate is prepared to prevail over Trump Monday.

“Hillary has been taking frequent naps and getting full night’s sleep so she is well rested and ready to go,” said Mook. “Trump has been running around battleground states like a fool, burning himself out. This is going to be a victory of the turtle versus the hare. Regardless of her age, Hillary still has youthful energy and poise. And if you could see her without her pantsuits, you would agree, the lady has still got it. Even as a gay man, I can tell she’s hotter than a summer night in the Sahara.”

Lester Holt, anchor of NBC’s “Nightly News” will moderate the first debate.

Trump said he’s pleased with the List and looks forward to the debates.

“Hillary needs more than the special podium as she comes up short in more than just her lack of height,” Trump said. “Her policies are short, her message is short, and her vision for America is short. Plus, she started the birther movement and I finished it.”

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