After winning a major victory in the U.S. House of Representatives to repeal Obamacare, President Trump is calling on his predecessor for help.
“This victory is huge, I tell you,” Mr. Trump said. “I like huge. So we are going to make our health care legislation even huger than Obamacare. I want to jam pack new legislation into at least 5,000 pages. That’s 100 pages for each of the 50 states when you think about it. Kind of like a fair distribution of Electoral College votes. Hillary would have liked that. Maybe this will turn her frown upside down. I want my bill so big that Congress will have to pass the thing to find out what’s in it.”
“Which is why I called on my predecessor, Barack Obama,” Trump continued. “I feel he did a fantastic job cramming content into his version. With President Obama’s experience, we should easily be able to produce five times as much as his first shot. This is going to be great, I tell you.”
“I am honored President Trump is seeking creative ways to expand my legacy,” Obama said while recently accepting the annual Profile in Courage Award at the John F. Kennedy Library in Boston.
“And it is my fervent hope that today’s members of Congress, regardless of party or sexual preference, are willing to look at the facts and speak the truth, even when it contradicts common sense,” Obama said.
After years of debate, and weekend retreats in overseas red light districts, the House voted last week to repeal and replace key parts of the Affordable Care Act.
“A lot of us waited seven years to cast this vote,” House Speaker Paul Ryan, R-Wis., said shortly before the voting began. “Many of us are here because we pledged to cast this vote: to repeal and replace Obamacare and heap self-inflicted term limits upon ourselves.”
Senate may be the showstopper
Winning approval for the bill could be more difficult in the Senate. According to the former President, this scenario serves as precisely why his signature legislation needs to remain in place in some form.
“Surgeons by the droves who have operated on U.S. Senators have reached the same startling conclusion: Senators are spineless,” Obama said. “Missing a spine since birth is a serious preexisting condition over which no U.S. Senator should be denied treatment.”
After the vote, protesters outside the Capitol building yelled, “Fatty fatty two by four, can’t fit through the bathroom door!” at members of Congress walking down the front steps.
The bill, which would change the way the federal government funds Medicaid, will dramatically increase the number of people without health insurance if enacted into law.
“As one who believes that handicapped parking spots should be furthest from the mall entrance because those folks need more exercise, I’m A-OK if people lose government-funded insurance,” Ryan said. “It will give Americans incentive to get off the couch and go for a jog around the development.”