Two years ago, Target began to allow customers to use the restroom of their choice. And now, Target has taken the measure one step further.
Target has designated February 2 as “Take A Tranny to Work Day.” The event is expected to cast a shadow on Groundhog Day and will be held at all Target locations throughout the United States.
Target CEO Brian Cornell said, “Forget the groundhogs and bring out the horndogs! This is an important measure to demonstrate Target’s support for the LGBT community.”
Cornell estimates that nearly 80 percent of Target’s employees are transsexual or know someone who is.
“Most Americans know at least one gender-confused person,” Cornell said. “Plus, many Millennials feel they either have to be a transsexual or gay to be cool. The numbers this target market represents are outstanding. We need to be more inclusive, celebratory, and eager to learn from this amazing transsexual subculture.”
Transsexuals will get a firsthand view of how the store operates and how associates interact with customers. The transsexuals will tour the men’s and ladies’ rooms and enjoy the opportunity to sample each restroom’s unique apparatuses.
“I can’t wait to squat into a men’s urinal,” said Janelle Kepler, a college junior who recently realized that she is a man. “I’m not going to get a sex change—not yet at least—so it will be exciting to test my aim on the men’s toilet.”
Hein E. Reamers of New Hope, Pa is ecstatic even though he says he’s temporarily heterosexual.
“I’m thrilled senseless that I can pretend to be a tranny,” Reamers said. “I cannot wait to get an eyeful of the delightful in the ladies room. I applaud Target for giving perverts like myself views of naked women and pedophiles access to their prey.”
Target plans to provide the visiting trannies 25% discounts on items intended for the opposite sex.
“There will be something for everyone,” Cornell said. “Just remember to bring the kiddies!”
This article is just one of many satire pieces found in the Amazon Best Selling Book Memoirs of A Nation Gone Nuts: A Satirical Review of Election 2016.