Allentown, Pennsylvania—Questpro Manufacturing, a leading producer of ball bearings, small gearboxes, and machine lubricants, is calling upon the community to give back—to Questpro.
During a press conference this morning, Questpro CEO Ruth Raffensperger said, “We are asking Allentown’s citizens, nonprofits, and little league teams to cough it up and give back to our business, effective immediately.”
Raffensperger indicated that Questpro’s board of directors concluded that the community has taken more than its fair share from the manufacturer in the form of wages, taxes, and direct donations.
“We often hear the mantra that businesses should give back to the community,” Raffensperger said. “However, our research reveals that the community has for decades taken from businesses such as ours, not the other way around.”
“The truth is we haven’t taken a single thing that would generate any obligation on our part,” she said. “To indicate otherwise would amount to nothing more than unmitigated poppycock!”
Stopping short of calling the community “a bunch of freeloaders,” Raffensperger said, “We’ve all heard the proverb that it is better to give than to receive, but this community clearly does not subscribe to that theology.”
Questpro is in the process of retaining a law firm to ensure that all necessary legal measures are employed in order to get back every penny taken by the community—with interest. However, in the spirit of remaining a good corporate neighbor, the manufacturer is offering a ninety-day amnesty program.
“During this time, community members who come forward will be forgiven accrued interest and penalties, and can apply for a 12 month payment program,” Raffensperger said. “Those who fail to pony up are going to find out this lady ain’t joking around.”
Questpro’s website urges community members to check with their accountants to determine if their give-backs may be tax deductible.